Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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