i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
