Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
