Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
