He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
