I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
