I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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