Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Never joke about your clitoris.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
