found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
