Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
