UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
