The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
