I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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