I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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