Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
