you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
