ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
