We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
