I think I died a long time ago.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
