i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
