I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
