I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
