I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize