this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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