and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
