Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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