To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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