Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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