This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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