i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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