Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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