Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
