I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
