the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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