At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Everything about him screamed your future.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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