i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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