We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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