she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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