Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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