duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
