My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
