I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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