those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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