I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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