I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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