Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
