I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
