Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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