Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
