I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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