Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
