And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
