Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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