S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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