i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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