It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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