in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We got so high we made milksteak
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize