Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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