I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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