It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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