I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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