either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
