You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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