He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
