did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize