ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
