So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
