i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
